• Finding Your Self-Worth | Empowerment Coaching - Dr. Bonnie Nussbaum

Who You Are – Finding Your Self-Worth

“Only you can be the author of your own story” Deepak Chopra

This quote struck me as so important to our well-being, yet largely unheeded by most of us. We defer the writing of our story in so many ways, thus giving away one of our primary sources of power, creativity, and discovery.

Nobody else can convince us of our self-worth, beauty, lovability, etc. Yet, much of the time we seek just that from others. The validation that we’re worthy and acceptable becomes an “outside job” vs. an “inside job”. We say to others “How do I look?” vs. “I look great!” Rather than making a decision on our own, then running it past others for comments, we often hand the decision-making itself off to others. “What do you think I should do about X?” rather than “I’ve decided to do Y about X. Can you give me your thoughts on my decision?”

Finding your Self-Worth

Even when we do validate ourselves, we often look for back-up validation from others. “I love my hair this way. Don’t you?” This weakens our investment in our own perception of ourselves. Who are you separate from the opinions of others? You’d better have a solid answer to that question or you’re at risk for losing touch with your True Self and becoming the chameleon who changes colors to fit the perceived desires of those around. People who are trapped in deference to others are among the most unhappy people in life.

The truly powerful person is the person who is solid in self, can tap one’s own strengths, knows how to validate those for him/herself, and truly sees him/herself as a valuable human being. Take a moment to think about the people you know. Who can you think of who fits that description? It’s harder than you think to come up with someone, isn’t it? If you were able to come up with someone, congratulations! That person can serve as an example and mentor for you to be able to do the same.

So how would YOU like your own story to read? A great place to start is by writing it out as if it’s already the case. Write the I AM story of you exactly as you intend to be. And I would caution you about sharing that story with anybody beyond yourself. Even if that person is supportive of you, the mere act of sharing your story is again a seeking of validation from another. Rather, keep that story private, your personal story to share over and over with yourself.

We all have the capacity to be much more than we are in this moment. Tap that capacity for yourself and learn who you are. Stretch yourself to grow into the bigger vision of you. Rewrite your story when you’ve become the current version of your True Self. Not only will you be amazed at who you become, but the journey to who you are intended to be will be the most joyful journey of your lifetime.

For more inspiration to find your self-worth, follow me on Twitter!

About the Author:

Dr. Bonnie Nussbaum
Dr. Bonnie Nussbaum is a holistic coach and clinical psychologist who believes people are capable of far more than they think they are.


  1. Chris March 23, 2016 at 3:02 pm - Reply

    Great post, Bonnie. Too many people let their stories be written by others, often with less than favorable tales to tell. And they can become our own if we let them. The good news is we get to create the story as we would like it to be told….if we choose.

  2. Joanne Barian March 23, 2016 at 8:18 pm - Reply

    We all have a story….I own my story, and hold it near and dear to my heart, hoping that in sharing, it can help others overcome their struggles, learn and grow as a result.

  3. Josee March 24, 2016 at 4:31 pm - Reply

    Great idea Bonnie! Love it. I most certainly have begun to become much more than I am and so a new story is definitely in order. Thanks.

  4. Tina Games April 13, 2016 at 1:31 pm - Reply

    What a wonderful blog post, Bonnie! ~ As a mother of two teenagers, I’m always noticing when, where, and how our story gets shaped. We’re so impressionable at such a young age – and we yield to the opinions of others when determining our own sense of self-worth. ~ Thank you for the I AM exercise. That’s a great one, particularly for our teens. It could change the direction of that pivotal point in the road for so many of them. 🙂

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