• Why Not Getting Our Way Is SUCH a Good Thing

Why Not Getting Our Way Is SUCH a Good Thing for Growth

There’s a card in my Grace Card deck entitled Growth. The message on the card says “Accept the lesson. When things don’t go our way, something more important to the growth of our soul is in the works.”

I love this message because it reminds us we don’t have all the answers; we can’t see our bigger destiny the way Spirit can. For years, I was definitely the gal who thought she knew how her life was supposed to go, was supposed to unfold. I did battle with Spirit over what I thought were obviously Spirit’s ill-thought-out deviations from MY plan.

I definitely would not be the gifted intuitive being that I am had I not experienced the suffering I did in childhood. I definitely would not have gone to college had my boyfriend not unceremoniously dumped me at age 18. I definitely would not have met the amazing, lifelong friends I have from my internship year in Milwaukee if Tulane Medical School had just one more spot open for an intern. I definitely would not have had my beautiful, intuitive daughter had I not had a miscarriage after my son and before my daughter. I definitely would not be living the magical life I am if I hadn’t taken a trip with a friend of mine that traveled us right past the place I now live.

On the surface, all of these events seemed either very negative or unimportant. Yet, underneath, they all resonated with Spirit energy guiding me to that which was important for the growth of my soul. Our willingness and ability to walk through those valleys mean everything for our soul’s full expression of why we came here in the first place.

As spiritual beings having a human experience, we are blessed to have our metal tempered by the fires of misfortune, thus rendering us stronger and more powerful than we would have been had we not experienced those painful events.

To feel deep gratitude for misfortune obviously sounds a little bit crazy from the human perspective; however, it makes great sense from the spiritual viewpoint. How better to become all we’re meant to be than to slog through life situations that test our strength and fortitude?

Personal Experiences for Growth

A friend of mine often declares that amazing things are about to unfold when perceived misfortune befalls her. She joyfully celebrated a tree branch crushing the rental car she had parked outside her hotel. When there are technological glitches to her webinars, she’s not just unflappable, but thrilled that the hallmark of great advancement has again presented itself.

Another, newer friend of mine, when I asked him what he had gleaned in terms of lessons from a run of health-related difficulties, came back with a very thoughtful, insightful treatise about the gifts his disabilities had presented him. These included learning not to take health for granted and learning that there are people who cared for him just because that’s what they do.

So I invite you to rethink some of your “misfortunes” and see what you can find for gifts and lessons in those circumstances. Simply ask yourself “What do I know now that I wouldn’t have learned had this not happened?” And then offer gratitude to Spirit for those lessons that have made you a stronger and more powerful human being.

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About the Author:

Dr. Bonnie Nussbaum
Dr. Bonnie Nussbaum is a holistic coach and clinical psychologist who believes people are capable of far more than they think they are.


  1. Joanne Barian April 27, 2016 at 2:01 pm - Reply

    Symptoms such as anxiety and depression or a lack of fulfillment often suggests an inability to connect to one’s Authentic Self……Soul Purpose …..or Spirit.

  2. Kailean Welsh December 14, 2016 at 5:31 pm - Reply

    Oh, so many misfortunes, so many gifts. I know that the gift is often hard to see when life brings a challenge or something unexpected, but truly I look back at the hardships in my life as my greatest sources of learning and evolving. If we could just see the bigger picture, maybe some of these things would feel less challenging or difficult from the get-go.

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