What Story Are You Telling Yourself?

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What Story Are You Telling Yourself?

Lately, I’ve been struck by the results of the story we tell ourselves.  We are constantly writing story in our minds:  what something means, what someone meant by something they said, who we really are and what we deserve.  And this story we tell ourselves heavily influence our outcomes in life.  So what stories are you telling yourself?

I’ve blogged before about our Conditioned Self, the part of us that is the result of the wounds we’ve experienced in life.  Our Conditioned Self operates out of fear, holds back, worries about what others think, engages in negative thinking, is judgmental, feels conspired against, is pessimistic about the future, and is constricted.  What this results in is the story we tell ourselves that keeps us stuck living an unsatisfying, mediocre life.  How do you know when you’re in your Conditioned Self?  When you feel heavy, weighted down, negative, and pessimistic.  You may also be engaging in a variety of addictive behavior which is a sign that Conditioned Self is operating.

Our Authentic Self, on the other hand, operates out of faith, keeps us moving forward through positive and consistent action, is expansive in its thinking, feels hopeful about the future, looks at self and others through eyes of love, and knows the Universe is supporting us.  This, then, offers the freedom from the limiting story we’ve been telling ourselves.  How do you know when you’re in your Authentic Self?  You will feel energetically light, motivated, focused, excited, and willing to act on promptings from the Universe.
Now that you know how to tell difference, where do you go from there?  Hopefully, you choose to nurture your Authentic Self to be present more often, to grow in strength, and to keep you focused on your powerful, healthy, energizing story.  That, in turn, will foster steps forward toward accomplishing what you are here on Earth to do.  We’re not just here to sit on the couch, watch reruns, and pound down canister after canister of Pringles, people!  We came to this Earth with a mission, something to accomplish, a message to deliver to move people forward.

As one of my brilliant mentors, Shelley Riutta, said, “If you don’t deliver your message, nobody will”.  Even if others have similar messages to yours, you are meant to deliver it to certain people.  So if you don’t do so, those people never get the message.  Isn’t it time to step up and do what you’re here to do?  I ask myself this question daily, especially now on the cusp of making some more huge changes in my life.  Am I scared?  Yup!  Am I going to do it anyway?  Yup!!  Because, frankly, I would rather die having taken a whack at these dreams and goals, even if I fall short, than never to have tried at all.

About the Author:

Dr. Bonnie Nussbaum
Dr. Bonnie Nussbaum is a holistic coach and clinical psychologist who believes people are capable of far more than they think they are.


  1. Tina Games May 7, 2015 at 4:14 am - Reply

    Inspiring post, Bonnie – thank you! ~ I agree, I’d rather reach the end of my life knowing that I gave it my best shot – rather than drown in a sea of regrets and what-if scenarios. ~ As I move comfortably into my 50s (I’ll be 51 in a few days), I have my sights on the “positive story” I want to be telling myself at age 60. I intend to be celebrating BIG TIME – all the fabulous accomplishments I’ve made in this last decade. Woo-hoo! 🙂

  2. Jill Greinke May 8, 2015 at 4:00 am - Reply

    Very inspiring post Bonnie! It is so important to find our gift and share it with the world.

  3. Kailean Welsh May 8, 2015 at 5:13 am - Reply

    I love how you make it clear how to tell when I am in my authentic self and when I am in conditioning. The picture you present about living authentically is what I want: faith, expansion, positive, hopeful. I’m going with it all the way!

  4. Barbara Williams May 9, 2015 at 2:46 am - Reply

    After reading your post Bonnie, I’m glad to report that I spend much more time in my Authentic Self (the bigger me) than in the conditioned self (the small me). I understand why that is and prefer to keep it that way. Thanks for the reminder of the difference. Not only are we meant to deliver our message to a certain people that nobody else can, but also in a certain way that can only be received by those people. So if we don’t, who will? I don’t want to be found guilty of not being and doing my best, which includes connecting with those I’m here to connect with, and perhaps disconnecting from those I find myself out of place with. Powerful stuff!


  5. Teena May 10, 2015 at 7:45 pm - Reply

    Inspiring post Bonnie! It is my intention to stay my life course led by my Authentic Self, yet my Conditioned Self does often accompany me along the way to remind me of just how powerful we are when we can stay focused and trust the process and remain open to miracles happening along the way.


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