What’s the Point?
Way back in the day, my coaching business was called “Your Path to Empowerment and Purpose”. Now, mind you, I’ve always had a penchant for L.O.O.O.N.G. titles for my businesses (My outpatient mental health clinic, Harbor Community Psychological Associates), but the initial title for my coaching business has since been truncated to Empowerment Coaching. Much easier to say when answering the phone and much more focused on what I see as my purpose, empowering people. Today, let’s revisit that word, PURPOSE.
Recently I participated in a webinar series hosted by Rebecca Campbell, entitled “The Return to Depth”, in which she talked about how many of us are experiencing a shift in our calling, our purpose. She stated that the energetic containers that hold us need to be deeper now and more potent. We’re being called to go deeper, which to her way of thinking, necessitates slowing down. She stated, “We must slow down to the pace of the body so true embodiment of the soul can happen”.
An integral part of this slowing down is a conscious disconnection from the external noise, of technology, of social media, so as to maintain the connection to self, to soul, to humanity. Now this doesn’t necessarily mean a complete, unending unplugging. It does mean a conscious choice to detach from devices for a significant amount of time so as to go within and reconnect with one’s own inner map. We are undergoing significant transformation where the old ways of being and doing things are no longer working and the new ways of being have not yet come fully online. This is what Sue Monk Kidd called the “green muck stage”; the caterpillar is no longer the caterpillar, but not yet the butterfly. It is green muck held within the chrysalis, full of potential not yet manifest.
So that brings me to my point about this post: when we’re at a place of reconsidering and potentially revamping our purpose, what does that process look like, sound like, feel like? For many of us who’ve been indoctrinated in the competitive, pursuit-focused way of living, finding our purpose again means engaging in all kinds of external behaviors designed to find our new purpose. This can be particularly frustrating in this age of upheaval, when the ground beneath us seems to be constantly shifting and what seemed to be leading us to a conclusion on our purpose ends up seemingly leading nowhere productive.
I’m going to make the case that a better approach in tumultuous times is to slow down, quiet oneself, and listen within for the guidance that’s always with us, but too often gets ignored as we race through life. Perhaps a way to frame this process up is that it IS a process, not an outcome. The more we focus on the process and let go of the outcome, the better we feel and the more we can be in the flow of the unfolding of our calling.
As the initial name of my coaching business implied, this is a path to empowerment and purpose. It’s more about our life’s journey than about where we arrive. Are we being fully present for each step of the path? Or are we so focused on what we think is around the next bend that we miss the present moment?
There also tends to come a point on the path where we feel lost, confused, frustrated about where we seem to be. This is the “Why bother?!” stage and is a crucial part of our path. This is where those who understand that this is an integral part of the process are willing to pause, look around, rest, and tune in to the guidance that will open up the next step. As the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the next step in faith.” Frankly, if we could see the whole path, there would be no need for faith and trust!
The point is to invest some time living the question, rather than pursuing the answer. Be in the uncertainty and the unknowing. Yes, it’s uncomfortable. We have vastly overvalued comfort. Discomfort can be a sign we’re on the edge of change, growth, development. Embrace that, just like you embrace the discomfort in a muscle when you work it, knowing that doing so leads to greater strength.
The living of the question can feel uncomfortable due to the uncertainty, futile when the answer doesn’t emerge in our timing, and challenging when we’ve been so indoctrinated into focusing on outcomes rather than process. Yet I will hazard a guess that those who get to the end of their lives and were more focused on process day-to- day die more satisfied and feeling like their journey was good and is complete than those who were very outcome-focused.
So my call to you today is to take a moment, take a deep breath or two, and check in with yourself on what you know to be true about your purpose in life. If it’s clear, wonderful! If it’s not, even more wonderful because this is your call to invest some time doing that inner exploring, being your own Curious Observer, and allowing yourself to hold space for your own creativity rather than production.
