Joy of Self-Defeating Behavior

So, this morning I am “enjoying” the results of self-defeating behavior.  I spoke to my friend in Gladstone who was also experiencing the same.  Why is it we roll merrily along for a period of time, treating ourselves well, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, doing the right things in general only to slip into a bout of self-defeating behavior of gargantuan proportions?

It’s the direct result of our Conditioned Selves!  What, you ask, is a Conditioned Self?  It’s the part of us that is anchored in negative thinking, limiting beliefs, scarcity perspectives, and more gunk that leads to it creating an incessant chatter in our heads about what we cannot do, how we’re not good enough, how taking good care of ourselves is pointless, and on and on and on.

Yesterday’s little debacle was the result of my Conditioned Self yammering about the futility of my recent efforts to accelerate my self-care.  I’d been doing well with working out three times a week, focusing on fresh foods, and I’ve pretty much always had good sleep hygiene.  Well, my exercise program fell apart when our group lost the venue we’d been using.  When that happened, my Conditioned Self, opportunist that it is, jumped in with thoughts about no good thing lasting forever, how all bets were off now, how this was an open invitation to indulge in bad behavior.

So, when a friend invited me to dinner last night, I not only chose to not have my regular snack of yogurt around 3 p.m., but ordered deep-fried chips with salsa upon arrival at the restaurant.  Talk about a crash and burn…by the time we were done, I’d indulged in 2 orders of chips, plus dinner, plus a drink or two, plus dessert when I got home.  I can hear my Conditioned Self just howling with laughter at my folly.

Why does the Conditioned Self set us up like that?  It’s purpose initially was to protect us; however, over time, it’s methods of doing so become more and more warped.  Holding us back, derailing us, throwing old temptations in our path are all ways the Conditioned Self uses to keep us “safe” in our stuckness.  What can be done about this?  Recognizing when it’s our Conditioned Self operating is a good first step.  You can recognize this by paying attention to how you feel.  When you feel heaviness, off-kilter, scattered, frustrated, these are all signs that your Conditioned Self is operating.  If your thoughts are about what you can’t do and what you don’t deserve, this is your Conditioned Self operating.

Once you recognize that your Conditioned Self is operating, the next step is changing your perspective.  Sometimes this can be accomplished simply by changing your thoughts to more positive, “can do” thoughts.  Sometimes you may need heavier artillery such as energy-based methods for change like PSYCH-K, EMDR, EFT, Breathwork.  Sometimes healthful alternatives like yoga, meditation, journaling or talking to someone who understands this process are beneficial.

Regardless of what method or methods you choose to deal with your Conditioned Self, know that this is an ongoing process of rerouting yourself when Conditioned Self gets you off-track.  The more pragmatic you can be about this normal, but irritating diversion, the faster you can get back to work on what you really want to accomplish with your life.  Go forth and conquer!