Finally Loving Yourself: Body Acceptance
(This post was written many years ago, but I’ve left the language intact as present tense.)
I’ve been blown away by the responses I’m getting to handing out flyers for my August workshop on body acceptance and self-esteem. I knew this was a valuable topic to approach and painful for many people, but I’m astonished at the prof0und level of pain, loss, grief, dissatisfaction, self-loathing, and more that I’m confronting in those with whom I share this flyer. Equally surprising to me has been the number of men who are expressing interest in this topic.
Listening to people rip on themselves, spout vicious comments about specific areas of their bodies, lament the negative effects their view of their body has had on their self-esteem, relationships, and more is tremendously sad. How did we go from a nation of people who relied on their bodies to create everything from homesteads to machinery to a nation of people out of touch with their physical being or focused on bodily woes, becoming sicker and sicker as time passes?
Much has been written recently about the dim view we take of our bodies and the effects that media have on that. So my focus is going to be on how we can recover from this dive into self-loathing. Here are a few ideas to test out and see how your body responds:
1. Spend some time with your body. I know this sounds funny, but many of us drag our bodies through day-to-day life without paying much attention to what it needs in terms of sleep, physical activity, food, etc. Many years ago, I took a yoga class and the biggest thing I learned was how much PAIN I carried in my body. That was a very helpful bit of information as I was then able to spend more time attending to what my body needed – cutting back on carbs, increasing water intake, more stretching and movement, etc.
2. Mirror Work. This one is not for the faint-hearted! LOL! The goal is to look at yourself in the mirror AS A WHOLE PERSON; not chopping yourself up into bits for analysis. “I hate my fat thighs. My hair is a fright! Good grief, when did that underarm dingle-dangle appear??!” When we train ourselves to see our whole being, not just parts, we begin to appreciate how the whole entity works together in a finely-tuned way. Stand in front of the mirror and allow yourself to move. Really attend to how your body moves and how it feels as it moves.
3. Focus on an area of your body that you typically detest. Write down at least 5 aspects of this body part that you appreciate and why. For example, if someone has an issue with his/her abdomen, think of all the positive things this abdomen does for you: processes food, holds you upright, houses many important organs, etc. Then, for one week, every day recite the list of great things about this area of your body. You’re likely to find yourself more appreciative of that area.
4. Lotion Work. I typically suggest people start with either their hands or feet for this one. Take some lotion and spend at least 5 minutes applying the lotion to the area you’ve selected, focusing on the entire process. How does it feel to pour the lotion into your hands? How does it feel to apply it to the selected area of your body? How does it sound? How does it smell? What happens if you slow the process down or speed it up? What else do you notice?
5. Pick an activity. It can be anything from dance to yoga to bowling to gardening to running. As you engage in that activity, pay attention to how your body feels doing that activity. Right now I’m paying attention to how my fingers feel on the keyboard. I’m marveling at how fast I can type…way beyond what my conscious mind can track…and the accuracy of what is produced. I can feel my fingernails hitting the keys in addition to the pads of my fingers. That awareness is increasing my gratefulness at being able to do this task that we often take for granted.
Unfortunately, too often, we don’t appreciate all our bodies can do until we cannot do something any longer. Let’s take the time to appreciate all of these physical gifts while we still have them. Share what you notice about that. I’d be interested in hearing back from you!